A GREAT LIFE

I have been dreaming of a lot of things I want to get in life, I want to have great things and gain great people and live a great life.

I dreamed of trying to do everything I want, of breaking the walls that prevent me to explore the things that are offered outside the four corners of my confinement.

Too bad and too good..

Recently, I realized I wont be able to earn that life I am craving to have, no I dont and Im not living a great life no great things and no great people. Instead i am in a constant struggle of this world's unpredictable turn.

Good thing is..God is so good.

ONE DAY..someone KNOCKED ON MY DOOR..i said no visitors allowed..i said stop making noises and go away.

But he seemed not to hear me so i decided to face him and say it to his face.

in my failure to speak first..

"What's a great life by the way?he asked.

could you describe ur definition of a great life?".he keeps on asking me,i was pissed. again and again till I have no choice but to think about answering it to make it done.

thinking....

A great life...okay! Just more and more of what i have now.(here are my fantasies..etc..etc..etc.........)

Are u even listening?

Im not looking at his face, I didnt want to.. I didnt want to see it. But deep in my heart, I sense that he smiles with his loving smile that I couldnt help but feel.

and says to me...

You know...I love you..and you dont have to tell me that you love me too...I need not to hear your response...atleast you know...that i love you...i will do anything for you...even dying, even to be crucified again and again on that cross, I will do just for you to live.

now, tell me again...how great is your life?

tears..tears...

Just let me in, and I wont go anywhere and I wont leave you alone.

Just let me love you even in times when you strongly believe that you are unlovable.

Just tell me your stories and I will listen to every bit of it.

Just say to me your concerns and we'll see how to handle it.

Just let me hear the people whom you think loves you and whom you believe doesn't, I'll be glad to have their hearts blessed.

Just speak to me in your prayers..everything you need to let out..everything you need to tell me...dont be ashamed.My love for you is endless.

Tell me what you want, tell me the people you want in life and I will be glad to wrap them as a present for you, you will not know when or where, just know that i keep my promises.just know that I know you more..more than you ever know yourself..

I will love you till the end..

And the person came in...and left...

He left me with a heart filled with joy, he left me with a heart full of gratitude, he left me with a companion. He left me with everything I need, complete, no less. He left me with a thought..learning and a good-no..better realization..

I dont need my useless dreams/fantasies in life, I dont need to gain great things and great people. Beacause now I am faced with the truth that even without those things, I am living a great life.

This a life saved by the person who loves me, keeps loving me, who deserves but dont ask for a love in return. The greatest person of all. Jesus.

                                                                                                                           -ANDY

                                          -------------MY LOVE IS HERE-------------------

Poker and More of Him :)

I am recently into playing Texas Holdem Poker and it's really addicting.
What I would like to share is that at first i have with me free chips as a game starter and everytime I get a good hand and very nice cards and win, I feel awesome!!!! :D i like winning $20k,$50k,$75k in a game.
On and on..my chips went so many..from $50k, it went to $1.2M..and u know what...I want MORE.

I realized that people..when they want more..and they get it..they would still want moooooore..and never get the contentment each person needs in life.

In life...it's hard to settle for one..it's hard to be sooo honest to one..it's hard to be confined to one.. but here's my stand..If I wont decide to be content in life, I know happiness will be so impossible. Yes, I want more of me...but no..I want more of Him.. I want more of this...and that...but I want more of Him....

Who says I'm confined? yet my world keeps growing and expanding..until i reach the most..
But wanting is not enough....ive got to feel everyday..every second every breath i take.. the NEED...even in the happiest and most esp.in the toughest days I'm going to have...

My prayer is that...the Lord will give us all the grace to be content with His perfect love..no matter how hard it is to want moooore of everything outside..may I settle and be Loyal to no one but Him..want nothing more...but mooore of Him alone..it's hard..but I want to keep trying everyday........ ....

Quirino Grandstand tragedy(constitutional)- What a SHAME.

It's like a nightmare..I feel so disappointed, it's a heart breaking part of Philippine history.
After seeing that incidentS live telecast..i just wished I haven't witnessed anything about that..and then..
Ive been wanting to hear from him so badly..so I searched and found this.

Got this from Official Philippine Gazette;

STATEMENT

of

His Excellency BENIGNO S. AQUINO III

President of the Philippines

On the hostage-taking incident at the Quirino Grandstand

[August 23, 2010]


With the rest of the Filipino people, I wish to offer our deepest condolences to the families of the victims whose lives were lost in the hostage situation at the Quirino Grandstand. The Secretary of Foreign Affairs has conveyed our deep feelings of sorrow to the Foreign Minister of the People’s Republic of China and the people of Hong Kong through Hong Kong Chief Executive Donald Tsang. I have tasked Secretaries Soliman and Lim to provide everything necessary for the recovery and return home of the survivors. I have directed the fullest cooperation with the Hong Kong authorities on the part of our officials.

From the onset of this incident, the hostage-taker seemed to not be belligerent, as shown by the release of hostages. These were encouraging signs.

We were going to wait him out. The idea was to let the ground commanders who are the experts in this field handle the operation with minimal interference from people who are less expert.

But the situation deteriorated rapidly when, during the course of the negotiations, he was given the letter of the Ombudsman in which she promised to personally review his case. As he was reading the contents of the letter, while talking to an unknown individual on the phone, he became increasingly agitated.

The presence of his brother also added to the tension.

At this point, he threatened to kill a hostage. The police decided to remove the brother from the scene. As the negotiators were departing, the negotiators were shot at.

Media coverage of his brother being taken into custody further agitated the hostage-taker.

Shots were fired. They seemed to be warning shots, as there was no audible indication of tumult or chaos to show that the hostages were in immediate danger.

Nonetheless, the negotiators tried to reestablish contact the hostage-taker but they were unsuccessful as the cellphone of the hostage-taker was continuously busy. He also refused to answer the throw-phone provided for him by the authorities.

The escape of the driver, combined with his reports that the hostages were being harmed, forced the assault to happen. When the vehicle began to move, and with reports that he had hand grenades, a decision was made to immobilize the vehicle as it would have made the situation even more dangerous.

As we know, the incident tragically ended in the deaths of eight innocent civilians.

We expect more of the facts to come to light and I have ordered Interior and Local Government Secretary Jesse Robredo and Justice Secretary Leila de Lima to thoroughly lead this review.

This entry was posted in Historical Papers & Documents, Statements.

see here

I love this Fact:

The desire to compare and get ahead is built into our human nature. Whenever we get together with highschool and college friends, there's a tendency to compare how everyone's doing in terms of finances, possessions, education, and influence. But these are earth-bound treasures. In eternity, we will no longer be doctors, professors, lawyers or engineers. Nor will be able to bring our sports cars, houses, stocks and bonds.

Jesus teaches us that heavenly treasure is much more valuable and will last forever (Matthew 6:20)! If we become His disciples and live for Him, that will be our investment which will bring us eternal dividends!- From Ferdie of Living Water.

For me, It is not a problem to aim to achieve something you've been wanting to, the Lord provides and supports and loves us much..all your plans just need to include Jesus and consider yourself being His disciple whatever your plans maybe. He must still be our masters. 'HE' must be bigger than 'you' and your desire.

China; A Short Story

Leaving in Manila to fly to China is a bit of a really exciting experience. Seeing a foreign place like this part of asia is a cherishable memory.
During those days, I really tried so hard convincing myself that I am not in Philippines(:D), I can't help it. In Shaoxing, for me it's like I am in Makati City, Philippines..with the streets..and buildings.except for the bike lane..and female bikers that I really liked a lot. :p

I started believing when we're already introduced to many kind chinese people, the students/volunteers..teachers and etc..and of course we have to adjust and learn from their cultures..spoon and fork/sforks we're not available.. ;)

During the rehearsals and competition, I learned that people in different races are quite interesting and I see that they find us the same. Filipinos are known by the different people from different continents as a great singers and performers, they even enumerated some of the choirs that they've known like the Madgrigal Singers, San Miguel Master Chorale and etc.

Here's the thing :D I was shocked because I didnt know lots of people who are World Choir Enthusiast really die to get pictures of World Choir participants. Ive known like..a father, a grandpa, a daughter, an uncle whhoaaaah..who grabbed me for a picture taking. Same thing happened to thousands of world choir participants. That was the first time I was able to get to smile a lot..a sincere one even though i feel so filthy already, I feel heavy sweats in my back and the heat of the sun directly to my face and arms..and people will say hi, introduce themselves, say nice things..and appreciate the performance of the group. It's an amazing experience..

I have known many people and have met new friends because of this event. I love the World Choir Games..the excitement, tension, support, friendship, and challenge are unfogetable.


And when we went to Shanghai that's another good story to tell.
I feel so much that I am sooo in China! :p
Nice place, challenging walks, Filipino community/people we've met along the way and great spots!

KAMMERCHOR MANILA Get together

ROBINSONS METROEAST Concert News.

The last concert of Kammerchor Manila before leaving to compete for the World Choir Olympics has ended successfully.
There is just one funny instance wherein one of the audiences was disturb(by my performance.don't ask further.)...bwahaha. What she sees, she sees and I have nothing against that, I may have no idea about her blame, but she has the right to express herslef, it's her opinion. I haven't receive such a complaint eversince my music world began. A humbling experience and I will always mark that comment as noted :D
As for the whole group..they all made their best and the performance turned so well..and finally the concert was successfully over.
The next few days will be spent for rehearsals focusing on china repertoire..exciting, heartpounding.. My many concerns, I know they would vanish after everything is already in place. I have hopes and I believe that this dream will soon to happen.

1 more concert Lord!

thanks I got back what I've lost a veeeerrryyy long time!!!!hope this will last sooo long :) ..singing keeps me alive, something I can't explain I just appreciate living with music so much! it's fun, it's risky, it's complicated, it's enjoying, it's challenging! .it's not a perfect satisfaction but it is a lot of satisfaction..everyday I prayed and keep on praying for this..

Smiling face

:) :) happy mother's day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you Lord!Youre the Best! :p

Kammerchor Concert Schedules

May 8, & 9 2010..that's saturday and sunday! At Robinsons Manila this Saturday and Robinsons Galeria Sunday. May 28, 2010..Robinsons Metroeast.

fri-DAY

is try day!!!! weeeeeeeeeeee...!!! my day started really bad..but i tried and still am trying to straighten up my curved brows..I am a little okay.. I think this country heat is promoting a lot of impatience to people here in the Philippines.

Yesterday's

I am all about wishful thoughts yesterday... I wish everything in life is easy! :p
I wish MRT will have less people someday(maybe in the year 3000!lol.)
I wish people will be orbing instead of commuting from here to there...bwahahaha
I wish time runs fast when I'm bored and slow when I'm in a hurry..
I wish I will just simply live and not think of anything at all..

geez...But because a lot of my wishes are otherwise in real life..I am constantlly learning and growing.. Now I know how to really try as hard as I can to get to a place I'm not really familiar of, safe and sound! presto I'm there without getting lost!wehehe. I thought of rewarding myself for that..hmm..maybe to opt out mrt as a means of transpo for quite sometime?..no(bad idea.mrt is tiring..risky..populated,but fast and cheap!)..think think think....gotcha!!!! I need to get rid of dropping myself off to Ortigas station!! because the next time I'm going to do it..my lungs would collapse to death.

Just so RANDOM.

Today i had a just so random day :) ..not really that kind of ordinary..no typical..but RANDOM. it's like having a minute of excitement then boredom comes next..happiness and here comes indifference. But all in all..I really do appreciate this, everything that composed my day is necessary..I love it.

EXCITEMENT:
-yes work day is an excitement.(but fear destroys excitement, i am often a victim of my own clumsiness.funny)
BOREDOM:
-boredom is my great tendency. coz sometimes it's my name.
HAPPINESS:
-I am..well..loving as hard as i can..every circumstance..good or bad(maybe).
INDIFFERENCE:
-I just really don't care a lot about everything and anyone sometimes(and i'm not very proud of it). <--sucks!


TO SUM UP: i love this day no matter how unsatisfied i am with lots of moments and chances.

HE ORGANIZED EVERYTHING! HE, ..yES HE DID!(SMUG)

TODAY'S message of love FRESHLY DELIVERED.

Today's best is that I've learned that the extent of Jesus' love for us is ENDLESS..to where and whom can we find such love that is forever unconditional, never changing from day to day? everyday he forgives us, embraces, comforts and showers us with so many blessings than we could ever imagine. And all we ever do most of the time is to get upset about lots of things and mostly..sadly..even the simplest thing drives us to anger and impatience. And what we usualy give back to him are doubts? (well..i am saying this because i know and i myself am guilty of that action.)
Sometimes i felt like i can only trust myself..me alone. Then suddenly I realized i am already loosing track..feeling lonely walking in the thorny pathway..anxious, worried...going nowhere..unsure and near to getting lost in the unknown...
But the Lord keeps on saving me..i just prayed and thank Him for everything..that even in my darkest there will be a light for me to keep on walking..safety assured..truly he keeps his millions of promises. It may not be exactly what I want..but I know it's what will make me continue living,.gracefully.

It really amazes me when it bothers a lot to me everytime I did something not God glorifying. not because I am good but because i sense that God is actively working and molding me into a better person that I can be. He loves me a lot that he keeps me aware of my bad habits. Yes, I have hundreds of it. He knows all of it including those that i failed to count.
And also, i see that the Lord doesn't put us in a place where we don't learn or even realize a thing. Wherever we go there's always some difficulty, confusion, enjoyment, mixed and no matter how good we believe we are, we will get degraded. :)
There are always people who will get involved with your life, who will affect you, who will get affected by you, who will influence you, criticize, or appreciate, love or hate you.(don't pity yourself and blame all these negatives to the people around you. Admit it, this is a vice versa story :) the struggle is just different but both needs love).
Everywhere we come to realize something, every people we encounter has its purpose.(Try to observe it :))
As for me, the message I personally get in the story of my life, these are all for me an opportunity to acknowledge the presence of the Lord saying:
 "Call me, I will answer",
"Yes that's the way it is because I am the only perfect and nothing else, I am the only happiness and nothing else",
"Listen..that is why I'm here..to love you despite that.to appreciate you :)",
"Don't worry about that so much, I will always choose to love you"
"Come and lean on me,have comfort,let me handle that :)"


BREATHE!SENSE IT!!! HE LOVES YOU MORE THAN THIS WORLD TOO!!

GOOD morning sunshine!

What's good about this morning? nothing. Except that im still alive..breathing and normally having a heartbeat. The heat is killing my patience and im being reminded of my past few days confusion. Till now I'm still hoping there will be answers to a lot of questions inside my mind. And hey there's one thing good! I realized I have been having poor tasks management.wow..i should be thankful i finally found out that one perfect alteration that im recently into. It's too tiring to be responsible..i hate choosing between a lot of options..i want them all but i only have to choose one!darn this is a difficult life. I wish i would instantly be in a place where I should be with no other choices, just directly go to that place. nothing more to look no other things to consider.


Yep.Exactly I complain too much. It's just..maybe..well just maybe..what i desire most..deeply desire..is so much risky..energy-draining. Do i need more desire so to forget my complaining and just enjoy my chosen path? or do i have to see the other options maybe i will enjoy rather than complain? should i really take the risks? is life composed of too many risks?

first entry!!

yay! celebrating my new blogsite!!!
ugh-random thoughts keep running inside my braincells.. have so many things that i really want to accomplish..how will i start?????? which one first??! i need a lot of catching up to do..prioritizing and etc.!